Saturday night brought the goods. A smoldering burn presented as the centerpiece of a summer salt marsh bouquet. Things are not fine but the lighting is good. A moment of peace in the otherwise steady stream of turbulence that is our current times. My wish is only that the headwinds fade and the sunsets keep burning lest we all go to ash together.
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That green. That blue. That pink. Total chef’s kiss bliss. I’ve written early and often about the June color palette that dials it up to 11 each June here in southern Ocean County. There is nothing quite like the way newborn marsh grasses radiate a fresh green far beyond anything I have the ability to articulate. I’m never sure what to call it; nor am I worthy to give it a name. It’s something of a perfect merger of chartreuse and emerald. The dance floor of life. It last but a few weeks and there is nothing like the way it plays at sunset. It dances in perfect step, leading the grooving blues and pulsing pastels to waltz in triumph at day’s end. May this look never get old.
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I called 9-1-1 this week. Tuesday, May 31, 2022, at 11:25 p.m. Hopefully a first time, last time situation. I was sitting on my couch playing Hollow Knight when my left side chest tightened and within moments my heart rate spiked, and I felt as though a 200 pound person was standing on my chest. A contradictory numbing yet tingling session worked its way down my left on. In a panic I called my mom.
Even though she was on her way to check on me—we live in the same neighborhood—my condition deteriorated. The pain and pressure increased, and I feared I was going to lose consciousness. As I did on March 17, 2022, in Epcot. Worried and frightened, thinking I was having a heart attack, I dialed 9-1-1.
Within a few minutes of interview style questioning, my mom showed up. Immediately followed by a police officer, and then followed by two ambulances and five paramedics. Fortunately by the time everyone was there the acute chest pressure had nearly subsided in full, and my heart rate was back in check. From there it was standard procedure: EKG, blood pressure, some standard issue question and answer. Upon first look there was nothing wrong but I still took the ambulance ride to the hospital. My second such ride in 10 weeks. It’s not what you want.
No one knows what went wrong. Why it went wrong. Or how it went wrong. I guess panic attacks can result in this kind of chest pain and pressure? The lack of answers is unsettling, and I have been dealing with heart issues for years now, which deepens my fears. Diagnosed with atrial fibrillation in 2016, followed by hypertension, followed by high cholesterol. Suffice it to say my ticker ain’t it, and it really bums me out. Now I sit here and can only describe my headspace as shaken.
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Folks, it’s been a while. I’d like to send a shoutout to whatever or whomever helped float a mote of motivation across my frontal lobe. However it happened something triggered the following series of seemingly unrelated events: a five mile evening run soundtracked by Star Wars: Thrawn Ascendancy (Book III: Lesser Evil); followed by mom’s chicken tender face stuffing immediately nullifying said run; followed by a wholly unplanned and long overdue drive out to Dock Road—camera in tow. This moment of spontaneous inspiration proved useful as those storm clouds were rolling and the light show was doing that whole sunset drama thing. It was all happening.
I have to be honest, though, part of me wondered if I still knew how to do this whole landscape photograph thing. I am happy to report it was like old hat and all that. It felt good to be back. Good to be rolling on. Oh, and the motivation is still going strong as I even edited and posted my shot same day! And yes, as if it wasn’t already painfully obvious, I am a total Star Wars nerd.
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You don’t need me to tell you life is an all out blur these days. An all out conflagration of the senses; body, mind and soul blasted by a raging inferno of the world’s lit fuse. Our defenses bested, our heat shields destroyed. Systems are critical and who will quench us now?
It is here and now we must look to ourselves and to our small pockets of control. Let’s do what we can to keep things neat and tidy, lest the traveling embers of wonton destruction set our own backyards ablaze. Things may look and feel hopeless, with authoritarianism, strife, conflict, and death on the move. We must not allow such malevolent actors strip away the clear view to what matters most in this world—each other, our children, our communities. Instead of a sniping some stranger with a quick hit feel good response of toxic emotion, give yourself a moment or three to respond with the soothing power of love and grace. It is our kindness and compassion that will save the world.
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Here we are, or here I am, anyway, whiling away an unremarkable Friday night in mid-February, cracking a beer or three, looking through old photographs. Overthinking my overthinking. Trying to unwind after another week on the grind. I’ve been sitting on this photograph since November. It’s from the last batch of pictures I made in 2021, and it’s sat in the digital dustbins since. Somehow processed and ready, but sitting on ice. The Lightroom equivalent of all dressed up with nowhere to go, I suppose.
Somehow this high powered sunset sat on indefinite hold. In a way I am glad. It’s given me something to do this night. I’ve been itching to make photographs these past few weeks, but there’s been a bit of a lull in the natural light show. To wit: hooray for the unposted backlog. All this has me thinking—what other hidden or forgotten gems remain lingering in my hoard? For the longest time I enjoyed the process of making photos and immediately moving on to this next round. A real never look back approach—something entirely anathema to my typical modus operandi. Yet now I’m questioning the current validity to this application. Does it still serve me? What of all the other past glory I’ve let slip through the five hole? Should I revisit the thousands upon thousands of photographs to see what’s hiding in not so plain sight? I honestly do not know, but for tonight I’m sure glad I did.
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OK, so more like the hundredth… or three. Either way, if you’ll afford me the license of the British English use of round in around’s stead, I can proceed. This blurry pan shot demonstrates how technique significantly changes the look of two near identical photographs.
I made this blue hour photograph within a minute or so of my last posted photo—Winter Turn. Despite color, light, and composition being near identical, panning left to right renders a whole new feel. The image is darker, more intense. Perhaps even a touch brooding. The single exposure made while moving the camera deepens the purple, giving it a more sanguine tinge. More of the Tyrian purple reserved for royals and tyrants. It also darkens much of the snow pack tucked away in the fore- and middle-ground. There’s just enough highlight to let you know the snow is still there.
To touch on Winter Turn one last time: It’s another example subjectivity and surprises. That photograph far exceeded my own expectations. People seem to be all about, even though for me it’s only an all right shot. Not bad by any stretch, but hardly remarkable, either. Of course that’s only my opinion, and it’s a good thing my opinion doesn’t count for everything, even if it leads me back a second time round.
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Short and quick post this evening. It’s late, been a long day, and I’ve got some maximum couch relaxation to do before calling it Wednesday. First week back at the grind and all that after a much needed end of year break.
South Jersey saw its first snow Monday. A true South Jersey express. The type of event where the bulk of New Jersey—geographic and raw population—goes about its day without so much as a flake. The southern third of the state saw anywhere from four to 12 inches, with my hometown Manahawkin coming in at about six. It was the perfect end to my two weeks off. I am, if nothing else, a certifiable snow lover, and therefor I am pleased.
Fast forward to yesterday evening (Tuesday), and I made my way out to see what was doing on the Dock Road salt marsh. I lucked out. The snow and ice formations spanned out to the horizon, with even the tide pools icing over. It’s been a few years since I had this look. As sunset moved into blue hour, the colors painted over pure relaxation atop the wintry scene. It was a long slow burner, too, with this set of seven brackets coming some 25 minutes after sundown. The lesson, folks: Don’t pack up and leave immediately after sunset. More often than not the real goods take time.
Lucky me, more snow is in the forecast for Thursday overnight into Friday. Another quick hitter event with South Jersey set in the cross hairs. It’s January and that means little more to do than sit back and take in the winter turn in stride.
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The Sea Moves | Captured: February 5, 2021 | Location: Cedar Run Dock Road, Cedar Run, New Jersey
I’m pleased to begin with this blue hour beauty. Thematically it is special to me. It represents a goal to both simplify my process while becoming more expressive at the same time. Even if this is decidedly an expression in subtlety. Movement through panning, where I quickly pan my camera left to right parallel to the horizon to create motion blur, are a means to that end. Minimalist, understated, evocative, and full of movement—it represents how I want to capture and share our New Jersey coastal space. Painterly, ethereal, and most importantly, ours.
World Between Worlds | Captured: July 27, 2021 | Location: Ocean Acres, New Jersey
Three days before turning 39, a caterpillar appeared on my back deck. Right there chilling in some potted dill already gone to seed. I didn’t know it at the time, but a bit of retroactive googling instructed me it was a black swallowtail caterpillar to be precise in my documentation. Either way, her colors were wonderful and afforded an ideal partner to the business end of my 100mm macro lens.
Blue Too | Captured: August 19, 2021 | Location: Cedar Run Dock Road, Cedar Run, New Jersey
All I remember about this shot—which is honestly next to nothing—is that, 1) I don’t think I’ll ever tire of this specific composition, and 2) man, was I depressed. Thoughts and feelings aside, this is a classic shot well tied to my overall body of work. Seems a fitting inclusion here. Besides, who can get enough of the summertime power combo of blue and green? It’s the power couple of the salt marsh.
Lone | Captured: September 27, 2021 | Location: Cedar Run Dock Road, Cedar Run, New Jersey
Back to blurry pan shots—and honestly, this entire best of could have been blurry pan shots. Maybe this is creative regret manifesting for never being able to hack it as a painter? Here we have a 35mm offering right as the sun sets over Cedar Run Dock Road marsh. In fact, this is the same spot and orientation of Blue Too, seen above. This juxtaposition shows how much differing focal lengths (35mm vs 14mm), available color through visible light (sunset vs blue hour), and technique (handheld pan shot vs. bracketed exposures on a tripod merged for HDR in post) affects the product. Made at the same exact spot and yet two entirely different photographs. This is the magic of photography.
Be Here Now | Captured: November 7, 2021 | Location: Cedar Run Dock Road, Cedar Run, New Jersey
How about we wrap with a classic? A late fall burner shouldering the passions of a sky on fire. All that power and energy cast over the now brown and dormant marsh. This is the salt marsh scene that will dominate through April. You can mark the passing of the years by this marsh, and thanks to my camera and this website, I have managed to do just that for the better part of a decade.
Photography definitely took a back seat this year. It’s been waning for years now, and part of why I intend to focus more on pan shots is a matter of time. It’s less involved. It’s easier to do a thing quick with life affording less time overall for the doing of things. It’s effective and efficient. An exercise in pragmatism. An office-speak win-win if we were bobbling our heads back and forth on a zoom call right now.
Creatively things are still firing—thankfully. The difference is most of that is going into home cooking. I never saw myself living and rocking in the kitchen before, but Covid made sure of that. And in a total surprise, I’ve discovered a real passion and panache for cooking. The parallels to photography are remarkable. Both were two things I had zero interest in doing for the majority of life. Both coming out of ending relationships. Both surprising me in extraordinary ways. Both humbling me, teaching me (trying to, anyway) to keep an open mind. There is one key difference, however. Unlike photography I have a real confidence when I prepare and cook food. This is not something I have experienced making photographs. Imposter syndrome continues to flex in that arena.
But this is not the end! Not at all. Photography will remain a thing. That this little creative space on the internet will be a thing. And I hope that new surprises will continue to be a thing. Once again, thank you all for your time and support through the years.